Hello, I’m Tegan, and I have been Callum’s Big Sister for nearly 25 years. I was initially quite put out when he arrived, having lived the first five years of my life as an only child! Callum was born with a large birthmark on his arm, running from his shoulder to his fingertips. I remember being told this when he was born, but I didn’t care at all, he was just my little brother and I was so happy to meet him.
As children, other than Callum wearing longer sleeves to protect his birthmark from the sun, I don’t have many memories of his birthmark having any particular impact on our lives. I do remember our annual London trips where we visited Dr Kinsler at Great Ormond Street Hospital, and got to visit exciting landmarks or do fun activities in London too! I also remember Callum and my parents going to Caring Matters Now’s support days, sometimes I was lucky enough to join, and sometimes I was stuck in school, while they enjoyed a day at Harry Potter World! Either way, Caring Matters Now have shown huge support to my whole family, always giving us a support network, making us feel really supported and heard.
During our childhood, I remember people staring at Callum’s birthmark, or strangers coming up to us asking what is wrong with him. Our response (and his response) was always largely the same, ‘it’s just a birthmark’. I remember an example with another child, who was particularly mean due to how his birthmark looked. I remember being so mad that someone could be so judgemental about someone’s appearance, particularly when that someone was my brother. Since then, when Callum has gone through any transitional periods such as changing school, this incident always pops into my head and I worry that these things may happen again.
In 2019, we went to see Callum’s portrait in Caring Matters Now’s photographic exhibition HOW DO YOU C ME NOW?, created to raise positive awareness of CMN through the empowering message: Love the Skin You’re In. This is something that I was so proud of, and still am, with Callum showing such bravery and confidence, and celebrating his birthmark.
Callum went solo travelling a few years ago, exploring the world through Turkey, Japan, Australia, Thailand, and various other countries. While he was away living his best life, I took his place doing some volunteering at events for Caring Matters Now. It’s been during this time that I’ve truly started to understand how impactful their work is, and reflected on how different our lives may have been without their support. From speaking to professionals at conferences, to attending some Big Weekends and meeting several families affected by CMN, I have learned the importance of raising awareness of CMN, and supporting people who are affected by visible differences. I have also taken part in a charity challenge, the Jurassic Coast walk (32 miles in two days) raising money for Caring Matters Now. Again, this challenge was an opportunity for me to speak to people who have CMN, and their families, as well as challenging myself too! I really love the community feel of these events, catching up with people that my family have known for a very long time, as well as meeting people who are very new to Caring Matters Now.
As we have got older, people’s perceptions and acceptance of difference seems to have changed. I have had people approach me and comment that Callum’s birthmark is cool, and that people pay good money to have similar tattoos! This is a comment that always makes me so happy that people’s opinions are changing, and that they are accepting and embracing Callum’s visible difference.
