Hi, my name is Maddie, I am 20 years old, and I have bathing trunk CMN. I live in South East London with my parents, Sandra and Kuhan, and my two younger siblings, Reuben and Zara. I am currently in my second year of Archaeology (the study of ancient civilisations) at the University of Nottingham. My favourite hobbies are Brazilian Jiu Jitsu, cooking, going to the gym and spending time with my family. Since I was 4 years old, my family and I have been involved in the charity. The support and opportunities I have received have helped shape me into the confident and competent person I am today!
When I was a small child, my parents referred to my birthmarks as ‘special skin’. This taught me to feel proud of my skin and appreciate my uniqueness; an attitude which has remained with me into my adult years. In primary school, other children would often ask in innocence ‘what’s wrong with your skin?’ and I would happily reply with ‘it’s my special skin.’ Some of my fondest childhood memories are of the Caring Matters Now Big Weekends and regional gatherings. I distinctly remember the freedom I felt when I played with other children who had CMN. The ability to make close friendships at these events was something that helped me develop confidence and high self-esteem surrounding my skin.
Something that those with visual differences often deal with is staring from other people. Being stared at was something I really struggled with growing up as it made me extremely uncomfortable and anxious, as I did not want to draw unnecessary attention to myself. As a child, places where my birthmarks would be exposed, such as changing rooms and swimming pools made me feel trapped because I felt as though everyone was watching me. I would feel most upset when adults, especially parents, stared at me and it made me very paranoid. Over time, I learnt to ignore the stares and to stop watching out for people staring. Most of the time, nobody was staring and if they were, it was because they were curious. Once people’s first impressions of my birthmarks were out of the way, I would feel much more comfortable having my skin on show around them. For example, when I was 10 years old, I started going to ballet lessons. I was self-conscious about my skin being exposed in the leotard because I was worried that I would be judged by the other girls. However, once I had got that first step of them seeing my skin for the first time out of the way, I felt completely free and comfortable to show my skin. Now as a young adult, I appreciate when people are open enough to ask me questions about my skin, instead of just staring, as I am always happy to inform people about it.
As many teenagers do, I struggled a lot with my confidence during this stage of my life, and feeling self-conscious of my skin was something that contributed to this. I worried about what people I did not know thought of me and my skin. I found going on summer holidays with my family and wearing swimming costumes around the pool difficult and I often wished I could just blend in with everyone else. I have always loved my birthmarks and being unique, but it was tough feeling like I always stood out compared to other people.
However, I was determined to wear whatever I wanted and to never hide my birthmarks, despite feeling self-conscious at times. The 2019 ‘how do you C Me Now?’ exhibition ignited a sense of pride and awe of my birthmarks. I remember, as a 13-year-old, thinking about how beautiful the people and their birthmarks looked in the photographs. It made me view myself differently. I got used to the feeling of having my birthmarks on display and people’s reactions. I believe it sort of worked like exposure therapy. Over time, I became less and less bothered about what others thought about my skin to the point where I did not care at all. Now as a young adult, I think my birthmarks are beautiful and love to show them off. For example, my prom dress from a couple of years ago was backless and I was proud to display my skin. Through experience, I learnt that most of the time people do not judge my skin or take much notice to it. Sometimes, I even get compliments from strangers to tell me that they love my birthmarks.
Although I feel confident about my birthmarks, I do still struggle with self-confidence. I often feel like I am not good at things and constantly question my abilities. However, my work experience with Hannah Cree (the head of support of Caring Matters Now) in 2023 was a turning point for me. When I was in year 12, we were told by the school that we had to find work experience. I was petrified at the thought of it. I decided to email Caring Matters Now to see if they could help in any way, as I thought to myself that there was no harm in asking. I was so glad that I took that step to ask because they were delighted to incorporate me into the charity for a week. With Hannah’s support, I made recommendations on how Caring Matters Now could improve their support for young adult members and increase teenage participation in charity events. I shared my experience of transitioning to adult dermatology appointments after seeing Dr Kinsler at Great Ormand Street for my entire life up until this point. I was accustomed to seeing a doctor who had specialised in my skin condition, and I had not been prepared to have to explain my CMN to the dermatologist. As part of my work experience, I wrote about this transition and how it could be made smoother for other young adults in an article which was published in the British Journal of Dermatology. This article highlighted the need for more support and tools for young adults during this transition. The Self-Advocacy Pack was created as a result of this. This experience completely boosted my confidence and highlighted to me that I was capable and competent. It gave me hope that I could achieve many things in my life as long as I took that first jump. Furthermore, it gave me a new-found appreciation for how much Caring Matters Now had done for me growing up and all the dedication and hard work that went into it. It made me want to be a part of that, which is one of the reasons why I am so excited and grateful for my new role as a Young Adult Support Contact. Since my work experience, Hannah has been a mentor to me in many ways and I admire her greatly.
I have learnt that I have to throw myself into things and prove to myself that I am capable. At university, I have tried to do exactly that. When I first started university, I tried Brazilian Jiu Jitsu for the first time. I am now the social secretary for Brazilian Jiu Jitsu society, and I am working towards a blue belt. Although I am still too nervous to enter a competition, my goal is to compete at least once before I finish my degree. I also have a part-time job as a care assistant in a care home, providing emotional and physical support, and personal care to people with specific health needs. Starting a new job was extremely daunting to me, especially because of the intense and demanding working conditions. However, being a care assistant has taught me endless valuable life lessons and has made me a more resilient and considerate person. I love chatting with the residents and listening to their unique and diverse stories and experiences.
My passion is to understand people, whether that be people from thousands of years ago or the people I meet in my day-to-day life. As part of my degree, I worked on the Poulton Research Project in Chester for ten days last summer. Poulton is an archaeologically rich, multi-period landscape which has been undergoing excavations since 1995. I helped to uncover an intact Roman cow mandible. At the moment, my favourite period to study is the medieval period. It is often incorrectly labelled as the ‘Dark Ages’. However, this criminally understates the complex innovations that took place during this period and how it mirrors modern, western life in many ways. I am also driven to make archaeology a more inclusive and accessible field and to challenge the deeply ingrained biases in the practice.
My dad and I are taking part in the 2026 Caring Matters Now 3 Peaks Challenge. I am excited to fundraise and educate my friends and family about CMN and Caring Matters Now. It’s going to be an amazing adventure for me and my dad to go on together. We always joke about going on the BBC reality show ‘Race Across the World’ together, so maybe this is the first step to making that happen!
